I really enjoy the wee hours of the morning. Everything is quiet.

No cars driving around outside, no trains. No televisions, no radios. No chatter, no cooking.

Silence.

It's refreshing, really. I usually am sleeping at this time, but I can't. So I've stayed up to read. I might take a nap before I get ready for school, but I'm not sure at this point.

I've been thinking a lot about how much I've changed.
When I was little, I thought marriage was a nice thing. I thought about what my wedding would be like, but I never focused on it at all. Sure, my Barbies had weddings occasionally. But I never was a bride for Halloween, and when I played house there wasn't a man there. Just a woman living with her friends or her family, making it on her own. Then I became a tomboy for awhile. Of course I wouldn't admit to wanting a boy to comfort me then! I wanted to be one! Thank goodness that phase didn't last too terribly long. Then there were the years where I was completely shallow. I tried to dumb myself down to make me look cooler to my friends...that didn't work very well, my dad caught on to that one (good thing, too...I actually love school). I got caught up in make-up, pop culture, and psuedo-relationships that only last two weeks, but it seems like they last forever. High school...different thing altogther. Emo phase...I don't want to talk about that. There is no reason to be emo when God has given you so many blessings!! Don't think you have any? Try these: you have atoms bonding together, creating your entire body. Blood pumping through your veins, a brain that functions by itself, about a thousand involuntary, neccessary actions that happen all the time (blinking, heart beat, breathing, growth). You have air to breathe, clothes to wear, food to eat. You may not be happy with those things, but they're there nonetheless.

Anyway. I grew past emoculture to be a generally happy person, thanks to Jesus and dance team. After a rough first year of college, I'm happily settled into my third year, and I want to be married more than anything. I can't wait until Taylor proposes; I know he will. I find myself fantasizing more and more what it will be like. I'm a big planner...I've started thinking ahead already!! It's hard to just enjoy dating when I already know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

It's essential to remember and learn from your past, and to hope for the future, but it's even more neccessary to remember the NOW. Bask in the present, it will always be here.